Is Overworking Your Coping Mechanism?
Uncover the Surprising Truth Behind Burnout and Productivity
by Erin Burton LCSW, Certified Brainspotting Therapist – Serving California & Oregon
In a fast-paced world where hustle culture reigns supreme, many of us wear overwork like a badge of honor. But is this relentless grind truly a reflection of ambition—or is it a coping mechanism born out of survival? As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) who has personally experienced burnout so severe that I needed to take medical leave (more than once), I’ve learned that what looks like “drive” on the outside can sometimes be a trauma response on the inside.
Overworking can become a socially acceptable way to avoid pain, anxiety, and feelings of not being enough. It’s easy to rationalize endless productivity when the world praises it—but beneath that drive, there’s often a nervous system running in overdrive, trying to keep us safe.
Let’s dive into how burnout, overworking, and the fawn response are more connected than most of us realize.
Understanding Burnout: Definition and Symptoms
Burnout is more than exhaustion—it’s a state of chronic emotional, mental, and physical depletion that rest alone can’t fix. The World Health Organization (WHO) classifies burnout as an occupational phenomenon marked by energy depletion, mental distance from work, and reduced professional efficacy.
When I hit my own wall, it wasn’t because I didn’t love my work—it was because I kept giving from an empty cup. At the time, I was a county social worker investigating child abuse and neglect. I carried the emotional weight of witnessing these stories and the intensity of that responsibility to the children and families that I worked with. I kept telling myself I could push through, ignoring the headaches, neck pain, sleepless nights, emotional numbness, dread, constant anxiety, and tears that became part of my routine. It wasn’t until my body forced me to stop that I realized how deeply burnout had taken root.
Burnout often builds slowly. It starts as the feeling that you “just can’t keep up” and evolves into emotional exhaustion, cynicism, and self-doubt. Recognizing it early is key—but that’s hard to do when your coping mechanism is to keep pushing.
The Fawn Response: When Overworking Is About Survival
Many people are familiar with the “fight, flight, or freeze” responses to stress, but there’s another one that often flies under the radar—the fawn response.
The fawn response develops when our nervous system learns that the safest way to survive is to appease others, avoid conflict, and stay busy proving our worth. It’s common in people who’ve experienced chronic stress, trauma, or environments where approval was tied to performance.
When we fawn, we overextend ourselves to meet others’ expectations—often at the cost of our own needs. Overworking can be one of the most socially rewarded forms of fawning. Society praises it as “dedication” or “strong work ethic,” but internally, it’s driven by fear: fear of disappointing others, being seen as lazy, or losing connection and safety.
For me, fawning looked like saying “yes” to everything—on call shifts, helping my colleagues, and overextending myself—because I didn’t want to let anyone down. I equated being needed with being valued. It took therapy, reflection, and eventually, medical leave to unlearn that my worth wasn’t tied to my productivity.
When you start noticing that your busyness is rooted in guilt, fear, or the need for approval, that’s a sign your nervous system might be in a fawn response—not a flow state.
The Psychology of Overworking: Why We Do It
Overworking is often praised as ambition, but psychologically, it’s more often a defense. Many of us learn that our value comes from achievement or caretaking, so we work harder, do more, and keep saying “yes” to maintain connection and avoid shame.
Technology and hustle culture make it easy to stay in this loop. We can work anytime, anywhere, and there’s always someone online doing more. The drive to “keep up” becomes relentless, even when our body is begging us to rest.
If you grew up in chaos or unpredictability, work can become the one area where you feel in control. The structure and validation of productivity feel safe—until your nervous system crashes.
The Fine Line Between Productivity and Overwork
Productivity is about efficiency and focus; overwork is about compulsion, fear, and avoidance. When the underlying motivation shifts from wanting to contribute to needing to prove, we’ve crossed that fine line.
It’s easy to convince ourselves that pushing harder equals success—but over time, our quality of work declines, our creativity dims, and our relationships suffer. Rest and boundaries don’t make you less ambitious—they make you sustainable.
Recognizing the Signs of Burnout (and Fawning)
If you’re unsure whether you’re overworking as a coping mechanism, ask yourself:
Do I feel anxious or guilty when I rest?
Do I say “yes” automatically, even when I’m exhausted?
Do I feel responsible for keeping everything (and everyone) together?
Do I feel a loss of identity when I’m not being productive?
These are signs that overworking may be tied to the fawn response. Recognizing this pattern isn’t about shame—it’s about compassion. You were doing what you needed to survive. But survival mode isn’t meant to be permanent.
Healing From Burnout: Reclaiming Rest and Boundaries
Recovery starts with permission—permission to rest, to say no, to not be everything for everyone. When I finally took medical leave, I realized I needed boundaries and nervous system regulation. That time away wasn’t failure; it was healing. And it led me to quit the county and start my therapy practice. I later learned Brainspotting in 2020 and was hooked. It has been an amazing tool that helped me process and release those fawning/people pleasing tendencies in a way that talk therapy couldn't.
Here are small but powerful steps to begin shifting out of overwork and fawning:
Pause before saying yes. Ask, “Am I agreeing from fear or genuine desire?”
Set clear boundaries with work hours and technology use.
Rebuild trust with rest. Remind yourself that rest isn’t lazy—it’s restorative.
Seek support. Therapy, especially trauma-informed approaches like Brainspotting, can help process the deeper patterns and fears that drive overwork.
When to Consider Therapy
If you find that slowing down triggers anxiety, guilt, or panic, that’s a sign your nervous system might need help recalibrating. Therapy can help you understand your patterns, heal the underlying wounds, and learn to feel safe resting.
As an LCSW, I’ve witnessed countless clients (and experienced myself) the transformation that comes when we begin to separate self-worth from productivity. Healing doesn’t mean you stop caring about your work—it means you stop sacrificing yourself for it.
Conclusion: You Don’t Have to Earn Rest
In a culture that glorifies exhaustion, choosing rest is radical. Overworking may have once kept you safe, but it’s not the only way to be valuable or worthy. Your worth isn’t measured in hours worked or emails sent—it’s intrinsic.
Burnout doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your nervous system has been doing too much for too long without enough support. Recognizing that, and choosing to rest, is one of the bravest and most productive things you can do.
About the Author
Erin is a certified Brainspotting therapist providing in person therapy in Scotts Valley, and Los Gatos, California and virtually in Oregon. She also provides in person Brainspotting Intensives in Santa Cruz County and Los Gatos, California area. She is trained in trauma-focused healing to best support clients who are looking to heal faster.